YOU STRUGGLE TO INTERACT WITH OLD FRIENDS WHO ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR NEW SPOUSE.
“For some time after we married, my wife felt that a few of my friends were analyzing her and testing her out,” says Javier, who remarried six years after his divorce.
A husband named Leo faced a different situation. He relates, “Some people told my wife how much they loved and missed her former husband—right in front of me!”
SUGGESTION: Try to put yourself in your friends’ shoes. “I think old friends sometimes find it very painful and awkward to associate with someone who is just one half of the couple they have known,” says Ian, quoted earlier.
So “be reasonable, exhibiting all mildness toward all” people. (Titus 3:2) Allow time for your friends and family to adjust. As your marriage has changed, so your friendships may change too. Javier, quoted previously, says that as time passed, he and his wife rekindled old friendships. “But we also try to make new friends as a couple,” he adds, “and that helps us too.”
Consider your mate’s feelings when you spend time with old friends. For example, if your first marriage comes up in conversation, use tact and good judgment so that your current mate does not feel excluded.
“If a person speaks words without thinking,” says a Bible proverb, “then those words can hurt like a sword. But a wise person is careful with the things he says. His words can heal those hurts.”—Proverbs 12:18, Holy Bible—Easy-to-Read Version.
TRY THIS: Anticipate social events that could be awkward for you or your mate. In advance, discuss the best way to handle your friends’ questions and comments about a first marriage.
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